Spring and Summer…

spring against my back
the vibrations
of a hummingbird



scrolling my page
a little black bug
observes my words



spring afternoon
a greeting
from the yard cat



she says goodbye-
rose petals
in the dirt



house finch
the wind chimes
through the garden



too much wine-
dizzy from all the birdsong
this summer morning



bickering in flight..
a blur of emerald and ruby
around the feeder



his arms around me
the mountain ridges-
a light pink sunset



waning moon
the silence
of a sleepless night



never wanting
to change itself
desert rose



separate rooms-
a distance greater
then the moon



these days
the only happiness
at my bird feeder



shards of glass
how quickly I pull away
from his touch



my tears…
rose petals
against a pond



garden buddha
in its palms
fallen petals



spring morning my thoughts drifting bumblebee



worn out
faded patches
of sky
I sit hidden beneath
a blooming tree



tiny fountain
the stillness
of a fern



walking outside
a melody of wind chime
over and over
a deep longing to love
myself a little more

First Impressions

I was sitting in the back office on the fourth floor of the Mills Building in downtown San Francisco. I was new from Chicago and wore ripped blue jeans and hid under my white Addias hat. I was pleading to Shelly (one of the partners of the firm) to work for his traders only and not for the dreaded Barry, one of the worst people I ever had to work for. Shelly’s mood was as cold as the office air as he insisted that he couldn’t make that happen. As I continued to argue my points, one of the office doors quickly opened and in walks a tall man. He was caught off guard by our meeting, and abruptly stops in the middle of the room. His stature was solid and he had a large head with a strong jaw line. His blue eyes are what caught me; something very kind, and childlike, and deeply warm. The thoughts of marriage, sadness, and children surfaced up. An electric energy rushed through my limbs that we would have a girl together. He turned from me and exited out of the door ahead of him. I turned to Shelly and asked, “Who was that?” He replied, “Jeff, the general partner.” I stiffened my body preparing to return to our prior conversation, “Well he’s rude!”

A month later I gave my two weeks to Barry not knowing where I’d be working. On one of my last days I was in the office again and glanced to my left. There was Jeff staring up at an array of computer screens. I caught a glimpse of his blue eyes. There I took a chance and walked over to him. Surly he could point me in a new direction. “So what are you working on?” I asked curiously.

We’ve been together now for seventeen years and just celebrated our daughter’s six birthday.

My Real Name

My real name is Blue Eyes and the light of the universe has shined through them from the very beginning.
My mother calls me Fear like when you are about to jump into the unknown.
My husband calls me New Beginnings; a new day with hot sweet coffee.
My daughter calls me Bright Smile, I take in the scent of her long blond hair.
The skies call me Colorful; purple and orange wildflowers covering the side of the hill.
The river calls me Gentle-the white calla lily growing on its banks.
The hawk calls me Brave, I hear in its cries over head.
My father calls me Sorrow, his little girl with curls crying, bruised, and afraid.
My past calls me Broken, however Chicago calls me Resilient and Strong.
San Francisco calls me Beautiful, I am healing and accepted.
God calls me Bright Light and the love of the universe shines through my soul.