Morphine Moon

My twenty third birthday
I took the train to see you
In the light of your hospital room
I saw a skeleton of what was you
You glanced my way; eyes still a deep velvet blue
I gestured my kindness but quickly excused myself to cry…
Utterly and deeply
The regret of my absence
Because I was so mad
And the mess of my life back then…

Our last moment
You knew I needed to leave
From the palm of your thin fingers
A ten dollar bill to get me home

I refused, even when I had none
even knowing it was kindness; something you’ve always done
I wanted you to know I loved you more then that.

One last good-bye
One that I wish could of lasted forever
I headed back into the cold
Beside the empty train station
feeling blacker then a starless night.

The horrible train ride
Being antagonized by an awful man
the slap of his palm across my cheek
And being forced by the police to wait for the next train.

I was late for my birthday celebrations
My friends all upset with me.
All I wanted was to run to you
And have you take me in your arms
And tell me it was all going to be alright.

Instead I walked the the cold Chicago night alone
The street lamps a blur of bright halos
I wiped alway my tears
The click of my boots against the concrete
Filling the emptiness…